The Power of Meditation.

‘Meditation is the practice of clearing your mind entirely.’ I’m not sure whether this is a phrase I actually heard, or one I told myself for years. Either way, it stuck with me. It sat heavy on my heart, a constant reminder that I wasn’t ‘good enough’ to meditate. I couldn’t do it – end of story. The thought of clearing my mind felt utterly impossible.

I, of course, now understand that there is no such thing as emptying your mind.

And that’s okay. However, I also know that – for many – this is still a widely held belief (not helped by major apps like Headspace encouraging users to ‘clear their mind’… But this isn’t a Headspace bashing essay). The reality is that meditation should be about training your mind to redirect your thoughts. To see them come in and respond with ‘that’s nice, but you’re going to float away for now.’ To settle into space and really pay attention. Who wouldn’t want more of this in their life? I know I do.

And yet… *cue hefty shoulder slumping sigh*. My personal meditation practice has fallen by the wayside – making this a hard essay to write. While I adore teaching meditation – and it is a regular part of my weekly class – something is stopping me from dedicating myself to the art and magic of meditation. I know what that ‘something’ is. With a resurgence in panic attacks and flashbacks, I am scared of where my brain will go in the silence. I do not trust my own ability to redirect myself away from the dark and frightening thoughts that find a way in. Which is ridiculous: I know. I am all too aware that meditation could be the perfect way to navigate these tides. But right now – in this moment – I am not ready to embark upon that journey, despite wanting to desperately.

Because I have felt the benefits to a huge extent. The deeper sleep, the capacity to control my anxiety better, the stronger attention span, the greater sense of self.

There is no doubt that these side effects rain down in beautiful abundance when you commit to a regular meditation practice.

According to Meditation for the Love of it, meditation gives us permission to play. It is deeply joyful and enables us to indulge in ‘effortless effort’ – a glorious act of powerful relaxation. It helps us awaken untold forces within ourselves. This is huge. Meditation has also been proven to support certain health ailments, including:

• Depression

• Fibromyalgia

• IBS

• High blood pressure

• Asthma

The list goes on… And purely from the act of being present – of stopping, just for a short period every day. So why is everyone not doing it?

We live in a society where faster equals better. You can filter your Deliveroo order for the quickest delivery. Pay an obscene amount to get that big old shopping splurge a day sooner. Look around during a traffic jam and the vast majority of drivers will be raging – steam coming out of their ears levels of raging. And to what benefit? According to the charity Mind, 1 in 6 people will report experiencing a mental health problem in any given week in the UK. Overworking and refusing to stop down causes huge spikes in our cortisol levels. The end result is not pretty.

Instead, what if we took even just five minutes a day to dedicate to ourselves? Our own precious wellbeing? This is precisely what meditation provides.

There’s an old proverb that says if you don’t have enough time to meditate for an hour every day, you need to meditate for two hours. Granted, this gal absolutely does not have the time to meditate for an hour a day, but I totally get the point. Far too often I’ve shunned my morning meditation and journaling practice because I ‘don’t have time’. But I control that. I can change that. Conditioning is just getting in the way.

I know that this isn’t unusual, which is why it really matters to me that meditation forms an integral part of my teaching. I love nothing more than watching my students’ shoulders soften as I guide them through their meditation. For their jaws to unclench and their lips to turn up, ever so slightly. When they land, mind body and soul, and make the decision to indulge and nurture themselves for the next 60 minutes. Bliss.

So, what about me? How will I re-dedicate myself to meditation?

It isn’t complicated, is it? I need to pull myself together and do the thing. Meditation doesn’t have to be silent, if I am not ready for that yet. It can be guided or dynamic. And, actually, it can look like so many different things. Am I meditating when I cuddle Archie (our German Shepherd pup) in the morning, super early before anyone else is awake? When I go on walks with him, phone left at home, and enjoy bathing in the forest all around us and watching his joy as he discovers new things? Am I meditating when I doodle, pencil to paper and fully lost in the images that tumble from the lead? Or when I journal and sit with the pages, letting them wash over me?

I think so. And I believe that THIS is the power of meditation. That it doesn’t have to look like one thing. It’s a deeply personal practice – one that you have the joy of exploring and creating. Sure, there are structured types of meditation with a plethora of different benefits. When I am in a ‘clear’ frame of mind, I will turn to mantra meditation, loving kindness and focused awareness.

Yet now, as I write this essay, this is my truth: I am creating my own version of meditation. And I am proud of that.